Eliminating Limiting Beliefs in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 Step groups

- 36 Tips
for working the
12 Steps

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The (Almost) Instant 10th Step

A 10th Step Can Be Done In A Flash

One of the best things about the 12 Steps is they give us the way to heal. The 10th Step even gives us a way to heal almost instantly. 

Here's what I mean:

The other day I got my feelings hurt by a co-worker. 

The short form is that I thought she'd agreed we'd spend some time together exchanging work-related ideas when we went on break. But she turned her attention to someone else and all my "I'm being abandoned, left out" feelings surfaced with a vengeance.

My first, second and third thoughts were all about how wrong she was. I have, however, been around long enough to recognize that my internal reaction was way out of line.

So I walked outside, took a couple of deep breaths and asked myself and my Higher Power what was really going on with me.

It took some gentle mental discipline to turn the focus from "what she'd done" to my own feelings. It went something like this:

ok, why am I feeling so hurt? Yeah, I know, she did hit a hot button, but I'm the one who is reacting, what am I really reacting too? Yeah, I've got some financial insecurity running right now which tends to magnify everything, but there's more... yes, I'm still recovering from strep throat, but there's something else. Ok, let's look at what you think she did... she didn't keep an implied agreement... no, what's really true is I think she didn't keep an implied agreement... so why does that hurt, what does that bring up about me?

Bingo! When I thought about not keeping implied agreements, I felt a stab of guilt... I've got some agreements out there I haven't kept! What I was really reacting to was my own behavior with other people!

My angst cleared up and I was able to be present on the job again. I also know exactly what I have to do and that's make amends and change my own behavior.

With out the practice of the 10th Step I'd probably have been out of sorts all day, and I doubt I'd ever come to the truth of the situation. Program is truly a blessing.

Love, peace and abundance,

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