Step 3 Is the Start of Surrender
Step 3: Made a decision
to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood
3 can seem so scary at first. I well remember my initial reaction. I
thought I would lose control entirely and be at the whim of some amorphous
Entity I knew nothing about and didn't trust.
For me, and for many,
control was the issue. Even though I had well accepted my lack of control
when it came to alcohol and drugs, I hated the idea that I had to give up
having power over the rest of my life. Of course, today I recognize that I
never had the ability to manage my life the way I thought I did – I
never was in control; it was illusion.
I couldn't see it
But in the beginning I
literally couldn’t see or understand that. My sponsor chuckled at my
confusion and distress and gently took me through this simple set of
"Do you," he
asked, "have any doubts you're powerless over alcohol and
"Do you have any
evidence you're any good at managing your own life?"
"No," I said,
"I haven't done well at that."
"Do you believe in
stammered, "something got me here, but… " He stopped me as I
started to waffle.
"So you do believe
in something, even if you don't know what it is or what it means to you at
"And you have a
sense that that 'something' is what got you to AA, right?"
"Yes, in fact I'm
sure of it," I said back on firmer ground.
"Do you think,
perhaps, that something might be of help with the rest of your life?"
Willingness is the key
Tears sprang to my eyes
and I felt some real hope for the first time – hope not only about being
able to stay sober and clean, but that somehow my life might start to make
"Are you," my
sponsor asked, "willing to let that something have a shot?"
I was, and am.
Willingness is, of
course, what this step is all about. It's simply a willingness to believe
and let go. We don't need the answers about how it will work out. We don't
need a definition of our Higher Power. We just need to be willing.
Love, peace and
Step Three Links
Step Three Prayers
One from the Program and
Grant Me Serenity
A beautiful, serene site
which can really help with 3rd Step issues.
* Yes, I know the step
actually says, as we understand Him. Years ago a woman I respected
read "How It Works" substituting gender neutral language. I
loved it and have done the same thing myself every since.