Moving Beyond Your Story
Staying Stuck in Your Story is Just Stuck
Looking deep within
ourselves is one of the great gifts of the Program. We usually find that
somewhere along the line, usually as children, things happened to us that
shaped our future. Sometimes it was abuse, sometimes it was neglect and
sometimes it was... well, just life.
sometime around two I gave up much of my power to my father. The
picture in my head is clear, even though the incident isn't.
The story is...
always framed the story in terms of things like "my dad wanted
a boy," and "my father taught me it's not nice for women
to earn money," and "dad taught me it's not nice to be
insights came at considerable pain to me, and they've made wonderful
excuses for much, if not all of my money problems. They also
garnered my lots of sympathy over the years because the conflicts
are so obvious.
But I got stuck there. I had the insights yet
nothing changed. I prayed, I worked Steps and while I felt a little better about
myself and my money confusions, they didn't change.
Last week I was telling this story to a wise
and trusted friend. "You gave up your power to your dad, didn't you?"
It made sense, but I knew there was more. She
reminded me that we are born into this world with total clarity about who we are
and with our personal power intact. We don't have words; we don't have context
and along the way we make decisions that work in the moment, but cease working
as we grow older.
"Do you know why you gave up your power to
your father?" she asked. She could see from my tears and confusion I
didn't, so she continued, "Because you loved him."
Instantly I experienced one of those shifts in
consciousness that we are gifted with from time-to-time. I felt the story
dropping away... I my power to my father because I loved him. Of course! Why
else? And I'd never gotten around to taking it back, or updating the information
in my own unconsciousness.
The story still has validity, but I'm not
"in it" any more. It's simply part of my history now, not driving what
I do or don't do. I no longer regret this part of my past.
Wayne Dyer talks about being stuck in the past.
He says it's like looking at the wake of a boat and believing the wake is what's
moving the boat across the water. When we get stuck in our story, or part of it,
we are stuck in the past, and we keep operating out of that past, getting the
same results over and over again.
Recently, I've gotten very willing... I'll tell
you more about that down the road. It was out of this willingness that I was
able to move on, no longer stuck, but operating in the now, in the moment, with
a new freedom and renewed faith.
Love, peace and