Eliminating Limiting Beliefs in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12 Step groups

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Moving Beyond Your Story

Staying Stuck in Your Story is Just Stuck

Looking deep within ourselves is one of the great gifts of the Program. We usually find that somewhere along the line, usually as children, things happened to us that shaped our future. Sometimes it was abuse, sometimes it was neglect and sometimes it was... well, just life.

For example, sometime around two I gave up much of my power to my father. The picture in my head is clear, even though the incident isn't.

The story is...

I've always framed the story in terms of things like "my dad wanted a boy," and "my father taught me it's not nice for women to earn money," and "dad taught me it's not nice to be broke." 

Those three insights came at considerable pain to me, and they've made wonderful excuses for much, if not all of my money problems. They also garnered my lots of sympathy over the years because the conflicts are so obvious.

But I got stuck there. I had the insights yet nothing changed. I prayed, I worked Steps and while I felt a little better about myself and my money confusions, they didn't change.

Last week I was telling this story to a wise and trusted friend. "You gave up your power to your dad, didn't you?" she asked. 

It made sense, but I knew there was more. She reminded me that we are born into this world with total clarity about who we are and with our personal power intact. We don't have words; we don't have context and along the way we make decisions that work in the moment, but cease working as we grow older. 

"Do you know why you gave up your power to your father?" she asked. She could see from my tears and confusion I didn't, so she continued, "Because you loved him."

Letting go

Instantly I experienced one of those shifts in consciousness that we are gifted with from time-to-time. I felt the story dropping away... I my power to my father because I loved him. Of course! Why else? And I'd never gotten around to taking it back, or updating the information in my own unconsciousness.

The story still has validity, but I'm not "in it" any more. It's simply part of my history now, not driving what I do or don't do. I no longer regret this part of my past.

Wayne Dyer talks about being stuck in the past. He says it's like looking at the wake of a boat and believing the wake is what's moving the boat across the water. When we get stuck in our story, or part of it, we are stuck in the past, and we keep operating out of that past, getting the same results over and over again.

Recently, I've gotten very willing... I'll tell you more about that down the road. It was out of this willingness that I was able to move on, no longer stuck, but operating in the now, in the moment, with a new freedom and renewed faith.

Love, peace and abundance,


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